So what about this friendship business? Have you, like me, taken time to ponder the whole concept of friendship? Here are some questions I or other MKs have asked:
What is the basis for friendship? As an MK I have struggled with that question? In a third world culture where I likely own more material goods than those with whom I might seek friendship – can I trust their friendship? In a first world culture where my family is among the poorer folk – will those around me even want to befriend me? Why? When I return to my parents’ home culture do those who befriend me do so because I am different? Or is it because their parents have urged them to? Do they do it out of pity, curiosity, requirement? How am I to know what true friendship looks like? On what basis do I be a friend? It can’t be just because I have this desperate longing for friends? What kind of a solid basis is that? That could lead to suffocation. Or does friendship need a solid basis? MKs can sure get confused over this issue?
What about longevity in a friendship? From early childhood I have had to leave friendships behind on a regular basis and try to carve out new ones – when I have returned to try to find old friendships they have moved on. Sometimes I have wondered if it is all worth it. I sometimes look with envy at friends who have grown up together; gone to school together all their lives; their families have gone camping together, fishing together, skiing together and so on. Their friendships just go on and on each year. Some MKs would trade a lot for that kind of friendship.
What about commitment in friendship? What kind of commitment does friendship require? Because I have had difficulties with friendships I tend to ask myself, “What if I blow it as a friend, i.e. I find I don’t know how to be a good friend? What if I suffocate a friendship?” Then I waver about committing myself. Can I do it? What will it require of me?
Do any of these questions resonate with you? If you have struggled with some of these or other questions relating to friendship, please feel free to contribute to this topic.
I was preparing for a Bible study the other day and this verse caught my eye. It has all the qualities of friendship that I have been looking for!
And so the Scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." And so he was called God's friend. Jam 2:23 (ISV)